Le Spose di Giò

I stopped writing this thing because it seemed girly and stupid to have wedding blog when I’m not getting married or planning weddings or connected to the industry in any way and then I got absorbed in other things (sometimes documented here). BUT! My good friend is getting married, and here I am again, absorbed in all things wedding, thinking wedding thoughts, and remembering how much I love planning events. So I’m back! For now! Internet!

Getting down to Business: Le Spose di Giò is my new favorite dress designer (today). The clean, modern lines accented with wispy, delicate chiffons are so freaking beautiful I want to divorce my husband, win the lottery, and go through the absolute hell that was planning my own wedding all over again. At $4000+, no mortal I know could afford them, but that’s what illegal Chinese knock-offs are for, right? (Just kidding! Those are terrible ideas. Instead, embrace living with disappointment!) Here are some of my favorites:

Bateau Neck Beauty

Remember how I love colored wedding dresses?! Pink!

Maybe it’s because I’m a child of the ’90′s, but I freaking love sheer sleeves.

Glamor.

This would be perfect for that little 60K garden soiree you threw together in your spare time!

Why aren’t you eloping in this right now?! Get thee to a court-house!

 

 

Oh, This Old Wedding?

I was reading the blogs yesterday when I stumbled upon this at Stylemepretty.com:

“Our next real wedding, which is up in lights right now, was sent to us by what might be the world’s most stylish, fabulous bride. And one of those brides that didn’t take her day too seriously, filling it to the brim with THE. MOST. AWESOME. DIY projects a girl could ever wish for.”

I love DIY projects and I love beautiful stories about beautiful weddings, but this is the kind of shit that made me CRAZY.  Do you want to know why women go crazy when they are planning a wedding?  It’s because of things like this, and by this I mean:

“We had a number of DIY projects — the biggest of which was making the chandeliers for the barn. We bought wood planks from a reclaimed barn, had a woodworker saw holes into them, glued mason jars in, dropped candles into the jars and strung them up with sailor’s rope.“

Other details of this wedding:

• Vintage grain sacks from Austria that they turned into table runners!
• Pillows for the outdoor furniture made out of Ikea curtains!
• A DIY huppah!
• Flip cans on tables so guests could take video!
• A friend who created a “created a custom Muscat-Peach sorbet!”
• Another friend who made an “incredible coconut-passionfruit-blackberry cake!”
• A friend who designed custom invitations complete with wedding logo!

DIY chandeliers. What. The. Fuck? I mean clearly she didn’t take her day too seriously.  It just came together between her lunch of hamburgers and cheesy fries and finding out that thing she forgot she wrote is getting published and losing 5 pounds!  Right?  Right?! *headdesk* *cries vampire tears of blood*

For those of us who want a non-traditional wedding, two things become very clear moments after diving into the world of alternabrides: 1. You should not care! It’s whatevs! Maybe you’ll think about wedding stuff and maybe you won’t cause you’re that laid back, and 2. Everything can and should be beautiful, unique, and effortless!

This creates a never ending vortex of inadequacy and shame.  If you go for the packaged wedding (a hall, some standard candles on the table, colored napkins, a DJ) you’re having a gross, boring, commercialized wedding (despite that this is the cheap option).  If you want special details and unique touches you pay OUT THE ASS for those things (Wedding Industrial Complex Consumerism wins again!) or you DIY them.  So any good indie-bride makes a list of the hundreds of adorable things she’s going to make, but guess what?  Those not only also cost money, they take up (so much freaking) time.  And now you’re that girl who spends her every waking moment making shit for a wedding!  I mean what are you, some kind of girly-girl who is so shallow all she thinks about is her own wedding?!  The world doesn’t revolved around you GAAAUD!

I’m really glad this couple had a lovely day, and it does seem really heartfelt and beautiful, but why do we have to introduce the bride as someone who “didn’t take her day too seriously.”  I’d say the amount of money (uh…fresh gardenias and lavender everywhere?  Tons of wine from local wineries?  FLIP CAMS?), time and energy (again, DIY CHANDELIERS?!) are all pretty good evidence that this couple cared a lot.  And there isn’t anything wrong with that.  But please, let’s stop making the brides who know how hard it is to pull all of this together feel like in addition to making everyone happy, creating the perfect day, looking gorgeous, creating things that look gorgeous, and finding a way to make a party represent their entire past and future as a couple, they have to do it all as an afterthought ’cause their so breezy and well-prioritized.

October

Travis likes to say we grew up in the fall.  That’s when life begins when you are young.  Every year autumn hangs waiting at the end of the summer, heavy with possibility; the unknown; a new school, a new class, new backpacks and boots. Football and plays! Pens!  New pens!  New blank paper and clean erasers!  Bonfires in sweaters and walking home on lovely, crackling leaves. Finally, a break from the heat, from the boredom. Fall is when stories are told and friendships are started and scandals are founded and crushes begin.  When you thought, “This year will be my year,” and knew that it could.  Before you wore cowboy boots to class and embarrassed yourself; when you didn’t know that Jill would upgrade her friends and that getting into the honors classes would not, in fact, make anyone like you.  When you cut your hair.  When that boy took you on night walks around campus, when he kissed you and told you lovely things, and before you found out none of those lovely things were true things.  When you thought, my life could be anything. Fall is for beginnings.  I wanted my wedding in fall.

Knowing we wanted it outside, we decided on early October.  Later in the month can sometimes have snow but if we did it sooner we’d miss the leaves changing.  I wanted a beautiful park surrounded by a city, but you can’t rent parks, you have to just bring everything guerrilla style, so we decided on the Circle Monument in downtown Indianapolis.  Important information: Indianapolis is set up as a circle and at the center is a monument, The Soldiers and Sailors Monument, and for $200 you can rent half of it.  I. Know.

October is not generally very rainy and spending hundreds of dollars to rent a tent for “just in case”seemed stupid.  That is until it rained consistently the three days before the wedding.  And about a month before the wedding (you, know, when booking another venue is TOTALLY POSSIBLE) we found out the city was beginning construction on the monument.  On Monday, the week of, there was a giant crane on the the steps where we were supposed to be blissfully wed and elegant orange fencing surrounding the whole thing.

I wish I could say I was a graceful bride and realized that this day was bigger than some orange fence or muddy dress, but…well.  I was anxious. I cried when I saw the monument.  I called Los Angeles crying.  I met with the event coordinator at our reception site and cried as she told me we could move the dinner tables and make an aisle through the middle of the dinning room.  It wasn’t that I wanted a perfect day, but I knew my grandmother wasn’t going to scale the fence in the rain to get to my ceremony.  And the thought of entering next to a buffet was just…less than expected.

But the crane was removed.  The fencing was pulled back to block off only half the circle.  And it stopped raining sometime late after the rehearsal dinner.

And all we were left with was a perfect day.

Ask Amber: Jewelry

Today’s inquiry is from a friend of mine, Rachel, who’s trying to make decisions on her bridal jewelry and would like some suggestions.  Her hair will be up and her dress is this strapless Pronovias beauty:

I am of the opinion that jewelry can often take over a look; too much of it, especially if your dress is already embellished with beading, looks like you fell in a bucket of crystals.  I mean, you’re getting married, not going to your coronation, unless you’re Grace Kelly, and I suspect you’re not.  If you’re going with a very strong piece, whether it’s a hair piece, necklace, or earrings, it’s best to choose just one and find either very subtle accents or forgo others entirely. Hitting all the traditional pieces is overrated.

What I love about this dress is it’s elegance in simplicity.  The clean ruching and bare fabric do what wedding dresses are supposed to do: showcase the bride, not the outfit.  And as a somewhat blank canvas I think it’s perfect for one dramatic accessory.

Rachel’s wedding is going to be at a country club so she’s going for an upscale, modern-classic feel.  I think a simple strand of pearls and matching pearl earrings would look timeless but too understated with this dress for my tastes.  For more drama I like these:

($94)

($48)

Pearls are classic, especially for weddings, but in my opinion gems are more versatile, and of course, flashy.  Again, because this dress is so simple (in a great way… why does simple always sound like an insult?), I would like to see more glamor.  A sparkly locket or cameo would be lovely, but a bit vintage for this bride’s style.  This is a twist on a traditional tennis necklace that would be a little more unique and bring a lot of sparkle while being subtle:

($200)

Which I would pair with solitaires or these:

($44.99)

But, as I said, this dress is calling out to me for one bold, dramatic accessory.  Chandelier or costume earrings would be showcased by her up-done hair and bring the eye to her beautiful face.

($31.99)

(59.99)

And I’d skip the necklace all together and show off her neck.  Fancy!  Sparkly!  Complex but clean! Even Grace would approve!

Things I Love: French Aristocracy Edition

Please someone, with $7000 and a secret dream to be Marie Antoinette, buy this Romona Keveza dress.

I loved my Pronovias and in general I hate the “princess” dress, but ugh!  How pretty is that color?  How gorgeous is that draping?! And you could have a table of little cakes and madeleines and other tiny pastries!  And rub all your money in those poor saps’ faces!  Recession-shmacession!

My Engagement

I’m tempted to jump into this blog by spewing out my numerous thoughts on all things wedding related: my if-I-did-it-again dress, my advice to struggling bride-friends, my rage filled screed about those two acquaintances on facebook who have started a campaign to promote…themselves, but I figured the best place to start is with my own wedding.

The entire breakdown would be far too tedious to write in one post, and I doubt anyone would want to read it, so let me start with an origin story instead.

Hi, my name is Amber.  I am married to a guy.  Travis and I met in college eight years ago.  We were Theatre Majors.  We had summers away from each other. We did long distance.  In the beginning we were both very religious.  We were abstinent.  We searched for churches together.  We ranted about how we hated the churches we found.  Travis did some internships far away and we did a year of long distance.  After I graduated we moved across the country to Los Angeles to be actors.  He got real acting jobs and we did more long distance.  He got national commercials!  I served celebrities at my restaurant!  We became Quakers!  We stopped being Quakers!  We both got tired of what “acting” means in LA.  I began doing stand up and improv.  He got a real job.  We were living in sin and always poor, but we were getting by.  So we thought, “You know what would make our parents stop hanging their heads in shame every time we come up?  Marriage.”

So that was it.  We went to a pawn shop and bought gold rings for each of us.  We drove up to the Hollywood sign with a bottle of champagne and discussed the reasons we should get married. Months later he gave me his grandmother’s ring complete with a romantic kneeling and everything, but that was our engagement: a logical conversation on our couch, two cheap gold rings, and a sunset.  I know there are lots of women who want a big proposal, and I know there are lots of men who want to dramatically propose, but I can’t think of a better way to start a life than a sensible discussion of pros and cons.  And booze.  Duh.